I regret to inform you...

I regret to inform you of the passing of my grandfather, Rafael Rodriguez. Rafael Rodriguez was born on December 3, 1924 in Salina, Puerto Rico. He came to the United States in the late ’40s, bringing with him his mother and daughter and the desire to make a better life for himself and his family. Rafael received a calling to serve God and became a minister in the early ’60s. According to senior members of his congregation, Rafael was instrumental in the founding of 25 churches and touched the lives of many in the Hispanic community.

After the death of his wife of more than 40 years, five years ago, I invited Rafael to live with me. He's had some health issues over the years and lately his health has been in decline. Although I knew that "someday" Rafael would leave me, his departure on Monday (April 28th) morning still came as a shock. I am thankful for the time that I had with him. It was Rafael's wish to be cremated and to have his ashes scattered at sea.

Rafael is survived by his daughter, Elizabeth and four grandchildren, Reinaldo, Angel, Raymond and Samuel. He also leaves behind eight great-grandchildren and four great-great-grandchildren.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Why was Rafael Cremated?

Rafael Rodriguez, my grandfather, was a pastor for many years. Over the years, he made it very clear to his family that in his opinion, the only thing of importance after one's death, is the soul -- whether the body is burned, buried or left to rot in a field, does not matter.

About six years ago, Rafael had a stroke and was hospitalized. While he was away, his wife's daughters (with his wife's blessing) decided to steal all of the money my grandfather kept in the house. It amounted to several thousand dollars and included money that was designated to go to his church. The stroke turned out to be very minor and didn't leave any major damage. Rafael made a full recovery and was back home in a few days.

When he arrived, he immediately knew that he'd been robbed by his wife and her daughters. He demanded answers from his wife and her daughters, but, they were evasive. It was suggested that the money was being held in a "safe place" and his wife assured Rafael that she would handle the matter. A few days later, one of his step-daughters shows up with a receipt in hand from a cemetery and explains that the money had been spent to pay for two burial plots. The receipt only accounted for a tiny fraction of the money that was stolen. Although, Rafael was furious at this betrayal, he let it drop and went on with his life.

A year later, his wife died and was buried in the plot paid for with ill-gotten gains. To add insult to injury, his step-daughters came to Rafael and demanded that he pay for a grave stone for his wife. Rafael refused. A bit later, they came to Rafael and demanded that he assist them in a land deal that arose out of his wife's estate. He refused. Rafael was a very forgiving man, but, his step-daughters' greed tried even his patience. He made it known to his daughter and I, that he wanted nothing whatsoever to do with that hole in the ground. On a trip to Virginia, Rafael made up his mind, he decided that he wanted to be cremated and to have his ashes scattered at sea. So, when Rafael's time came, I made sure his wishes were carried out.

Friday, May 09, 2008

The Last Respects Of The Extended Family

Rafael's step-daughters made an appearance at his funeral and complained that they couldn't believe that he would leave his wife all alone. They complained that it made no sense to buy flowers since he was going to be burned. They complained about the remains of his estate. They even tried to re-write the history of their misdeeds by suggesting that Rafael had given me most of the money that they stole from him. My response to all this was that there was no need to justify their actions to me, but, that none of them was going to live forever and when they died, each of them would have to justify their actions to a higher power.

They paid their respects, such as they were, and all left at the same time. I for one, was happy to see them leave and I'm even more pleased that I'll never have to see that side of the family ever again.